Chemo Tips

* Has the patient had a second opinion? Always take a second meeting with another oncologist
to discuss the drugs being included in your cocktail.

* Hit the internet to read all you can on the side effects of each drug. Go to holistic sites
which have herbal remedies. Every body reacts differently. What might make one person nauseous or
itchy, might not be the same for another patient.

* Dry skin, red, cracked finger tips and toes, extreme sensitivity to water touching these areas. So…find a cream that
hydrates. Buy cotton gloves and socks so she can lather up and sleep with the cream. Wear plastic gloves in the shower.

* Compliment crying. Crying is the best way to release fear and emotion. Do not stifle this by recommending that she has to stay positive. Crying is not related to being negative. It is related to stress and fear and exhaustion. Crying can help you sleep and it can help one finally relax.

* Make sure she has her favorite music that she can listen to in her room or wherever she is relaxing. Music is a mood lifter. Also, gentle earth sounds and meditation music is wonderful before a nap or at bed time.

* Nausea…fresh ginger grated and boiled in water to make a tea. Do not make it too strong. Sip lots of liquids throughout the day,but NOT with meals.

* Avoid caffeine. Avoid strong odors. Eat dry foods first thing in the morning (toast, crackers, cereal). Hold of on liquids.

* Prepare your children for how your loved one “might” feel during the chemo. Maybe you can have the kids
help her cut her hair short (which I recommend) and if you have a daughter old enough to handle it,
take her with you to try on wigs.

* Go to one of your buddies (or even to your wife’s girlfriends) and ask him them to organize meal drop offs. This was hardest for me because I was raised to believe if I asked any one for any thing I was imposing. That is not true. People want to help. Even if you have a meal dropped off every other day, it will probably be enough for 2 days…that was my experience.

* The hardest thing for me was to lower my expectations of what I could accomplish. I’m a work horse and running out
of energy was never an option. Well, you do run out of energy and you have to give in. Let the house get messy. Who cares as long as you have 1 room you can go to that is organized and clean. A place where you can rest or sleep or read or think. You all need a place to be alone when you want to be alone, and you will.

* Exhaustion is a funny thing. It is either constant or it will come and go. It almost always shuts you down. Learn to recognize this and pamper her at this time.

* Walk. Even if it is around your house. Try to do the stairs once a day. Try to walk outside. And if the weather is good, sit outside near a beautiful tree and just marvel at its beauty.

* Don’t ever underestimate the exhaustion that will follow visitors. Many people do not understand limits and want to visit to make themselves feel better.

* It sounds crazy, but it’s true Limit the visitors and limit their visits to 20 minutes period.

* Assign a family member to be the e mail update person. Friends will give you space if you keep them informed.